And I'm telling you I am not ok!

Monday 11-08-08

I AM NOT OK!!!!!

I want to scream
I want to cut
I want to see the blood trickling down my thigh
See it mix with the tears that stream down my face
I want to hack my legs to pieces, see the fine lines of red appear, and watch the blood flow down my leg and onto the bathroom floor..

I want to give up and stop fighting, I want to starve until I am invisible, I want to stop hurting those I love and hide myself away from the world.

I want to isolate myself to the dark abode of my room, and waste away to nothing.

Because thats what I am, to myself and others, I am nothing, and I deserve to hurt and I don't want to take others with me..

They cannot come with me on this journey, the journey to self destruct..